No Laughing Matter
by TheCorpMaster
Summary: Jeff and Ben have gone to negotiate a treaty with Laughing Jack, while Daniel goes to steal an important document. Then complications arise...


Daniel stood on a cliff overlooking a grey, abandoned-looking carnival. It had several large big-top tents in it, and a building that seemed like the powerhouse of the entire fair. But Daniel knew better. In that circus was the notorious Laughing Jack and his army of demon children. Ben and Jeff were going to meet up with him and discuss treaty plans.  
MEANWHILE...  
"I don't think this is a good idea, Ben," said Jeff."LJ has had a history with Zalgo. Why all of a sudden the peace now?" He turned to Ben, a look of wonder on his face.  
"Beats me,"said Ben, rearranging his green cap as he spoke."But if Zalgo thinks it's safe, then I believe it is safe."  
"Do you ever get the feeling he may be lying to us?" Ben looked at Jeff, already knowing where this was heading.  
"Well... Sometimes, but I believe he does it for a good reason." With that, they stepped through the doorway into a room.  
The room was grey. There were only a fireplace, a desk with three chairs, and another door leading somewhere else. The desk was occupied by a black-and-white figure. It was a clown. He had long, black hair and a big swirly cone nose. He had long arms, and baggy pants, with striped socks. Like Jeff, he always carried a constant smile.  
"Laughing Jack," said Ben and Jeff unanimously when they saw him.  
"Hello. Come in, come. Sit. I suppose you are the ones chosen by Zalgo to discuss the treaty, yes?"  
"That's right," said Ben, as he and Jeff took a seat."Shouldn't there be someone else to..."  
"Oh, right. Excuse me..." LJ pushed a button on his desk."Tulpa. Come to Office 7A for treaty discussions."  
He had barely finished the sentence, when a figure walked into the room. He was about six feet tall. His face was pale, and his mouth was barely visible. He had no eyes, only large scorch mark-looking spots where they should be. His hands were twisted, and his fingers ended in dagger-like points. An ear-splitting song accompanied his presence. He wore a black business suit. Tulpa. He walked over to LJ, and stood to his left.  
"Now that we are all here, let's continue with negotiations," said LJ.  
MEANWHILE...  
Daniel slowly walked to the edge of the carnival. If he could use his powers, he would have finished the mission already, but because the matter was so sensitive, he couldn't. He still wore his suit. All he carried on him was two handguns, his blade, and a small bag. He had barely passed the first stand when he heard someone walking behind him. He quickly turned around and placed the blade mere centimeters from their throat. The person who was behind him was the last person Daniel expected.  
"Miles? What are you doing here." Miles was wearing her black clothes. He had black shoes, and black gloves. Over his eyes were googles, which Daniel recognized were for night vision. He had an expression of fear on his face.  
"Could you please put the knife down before you stab me," he whispered. Daniel quickly put his blade away.  
"This is a very sensitive mission. You need to leave now."  
"No, I want to help. Please. I don't want to just sit around." Daniel thought about it. He suddenly had an idea.  
"Alright, if you can prove to me you can help, you can stay." He reached into his bag and pulled out a black vambrace. It was covered with buttons that had technological symbols on each of them. It had a green display screen on the top right side.  
"This is a state-of-the-art hacking system, near impossible to track. It is really complex though. Even my best hacker only understands half of it's functions. If you can shut off..."  
He stopped mid-sentence. Right at that moment, every light shut off, even those in the building on the other side of the circus. Daniel turned around, in shock, to Miles.  
"Did you really do that?"  
"Yes, yes I did," said Miles, a look of pride on his face. "Not only did I shut off the power, any surveillance equipment has been shut down. I've also caused eight fractures in any major electrical wire per square yard, giving us about an hour before the power becomes active again."  
Daniel stood there surprised for about ten seconds.  
"Well... I guess you can stay."Daniel grabbed his arm, and they started to run toward a large tent.  
As they came closer, the familiar tune of "Pop Goes The Weasel" started to sound. Miles had the urge to move toward the sound. He slipped free of Daniel's grasp, and walked slowly to the source of the song. Daniel noticed Miles sudden hypnosis, and he started to chase him. When the sound was at it's peak, Miles saw several children beaconing him to come with them. He reached out to touch one of them, but Daniel had caught up with him, and quickly pulled him away from them. As soon as Miles was out of their reach, the children's appearance changed drastically.  
They became covered in wounds. Serious wounds. One child was completely covered in third-degree burns. Another had multiple lacerations all over his body. They all walked slowly toward Daniel and Miles in a zombie-like way, all while singing that song. Daniel walked toward them, and Miles watched as they jumped on him. They tried tearing his flesh off, biting him, but nothing worked. But one child ignored Daniel, and jumped on Miles. He fought to get the demented child off him, but it refused to let go. The child clawed at him, and he screamed in pain as the child's nails dug into his forearm and shoulder.  
Daniel heard Miles's scream. He threw off all the children, and grabbed the child attacking Miles. The child spoke in a language Daniel barely knew, but the one thing the child said was the one thing he could translate.  
"We will kill you." Daniel pulled out his blade and slit the child's throat. Miles gasped as the child died, then turned into black ash that faded with the wind. With that, Daniel turned to the other children. They let off hushed, but demonic screams as they died and faded to existence.  
"Why did you do that? They were only children," said Miles  
"Children that never existed in the first place. Those children were nothing more than demons in a false human shell. When a 'child' died, the shell broke, and the demon escaped by becoming that black ash." Miles was just about to object, but the tune of that song started up again. They ran into the tent, and watched more demon children walk by. When they left, Daniel and Miles turned around and continued into the tent.  
After a couple of flaps, they entered a large room, filled with drawers, file cabinets, anything that could hold some kind of document.  
"Well...guess we better start looking."  
MEANWHILE...  
The blackout came suddenly to Tulpa, LJ, Ben, and Jeff. For the first few minutes, LJ screamed through an intercom to some unknown workers, telling them to get the power back on. When he finished, Tulpa, somehow, brought them a lamp. From there, it had been smooth sailing for negotiations. However...  
"As stated by Zalgo, you shall be given a substantial payment, and several tracts of land."  
"I understand," said LJ,"but to surrender my ENTIRE army?"  
"Look," said Ben,"that's not too bad when you compare what Zalgo will give you in return."  
Tulpa whispered into LJ's ear.  
"Give us a few minutes," stated Tulpa, as he and LJ walked through the door.  
For those few minutes, Jeff and Ben sat, Jeff playing with his knife, Ben  
doing his best to listen to the conversation. Tulpa and LJ came back out, LJ returning to his chair.  
"Alright, I've been convinced."  
"Excellent," said Jeff getting up to shake LJ's hand. No one knew it, but as Jeff reached for LJ's hand, Tulpa pushed a button on a remote in his hand. Suddenly, a beep was heard, and eight bombs in the back corners of the room activated. Jeff and LJ looked around the room. Then, LJ turned to Jeff and said,  
"You!" He jumped over his desk and wrestled Jeff to the floor. Tulpa ran out of the room.  
"Ben, get Tulpa. I'll take care of this clown." Ben nodded his head before running out to get Tulpa. Jeff and LJ fought hard, but Jeff couldn't seem to get him off.  
"If I die, you go with me," yelled LJ. Then, he started laughing, and was distracted long enough for Jeff to punch the side of his head. LJ's head hit the desk, and his unconscious body slid off of Jeff. Jeff got up and ran down the hallway, right as the timer reached zero.  
MEANWHILE...  
Daniel and Miles had found what they were looking for, several documents written in yellowing paper. They were covered with a thin layer of clear plastic in order to preserve them. According to the file, there was a secret weapons facility and a mythical fountain of life. Both these things were important to beat Zalgo in the war. When they had found it, Miles jumped on Daniel's back, and he ran out of the tent, out of the demented circus.  
MEANWHILE...  
The explosion threw Jeff to the ground and the flames missed him by six inches. When he felt it was safe, he walked to the former office. Nothing. Absolutely nothing remained of the office, or that corner of the building for that matter. It was impossible for LJ to have survived. All that remained of him was a piece of cloth at the doorway. Jeff picked it up, put it in his pocket, and walked away. Despite his appearance of victory, LJ's death had hurt him. They had been good friends. He walked out the building at the bottom, to the site of the explosion. He stood right in the center...  
Almost instantly, the dirt in front of him started to move. Jeff got to his knees and started to dig, hoping to find LJ. To his joy, the face of Laughing Jack appeared after a few seconds of digging. LJ coughed when the dirt was removed of his face. The rest of him was not very pleasant to look at. He was covered in cuts, bruises, and a piece of wood pierced his chest. Despite this, LJ still laughed and spoke softly to Jeff.  
"Ha... Isn't this funny? Me losing to you? I remember when we made the challenge. Whoever beat the other... Ha, so long ago... Sorry... for blaming... you..." LJ laughed one more time, before his body went limp. Coincidentally, Ben and Tulpa appeared. They stopped and store at Jeff and the deceased Laughing Jack.  
For the next twenty minutes, they worked together to dig a grave for LJ. The grave was six feet long, two feet wide, and two feet deep. It was marked with a slab of rock. The body was lowered into the grave manually. Before they covered the body, Jeff whispered,  
"Goodbye... Old friend."


End file.
